As i was saying...... killing my self was a way out at that moment. As i moved from Gauteng to Cape town that was on the 1st May 2007, if i knew how my life would be i would not have came here. However no one knows the future only the one who is above,God. Although we and my brother came here to bury my mother( Beauty Khulukazi Qamata). she was buried on the 5th May 2007, khayelitsha cemetery. Scary part is all the dates are still in my mind hence its what they say bad memories are the ones we remember the most. I remember when the conflict of the family started it all started with my Brother for he had anger inside of him. That where was my family when we needed them?, most of all where were they when she needed them?. I knew the was a trouble coming little did i know how great it was. This conflict caused us to end up in the street, being street kids, having nothing to eat that was when i released how bad it was. I remember crying bitterly something that i never did even when my mother died i never cryed that much but that day i did.Although the where no solutions but didn't want to be weakened by the situation and had to be strong for Joseph my bitter brother, i would smile and tell him that its going to be okay where by i knew its not but believed it would be, he would say i know it will be.. but the truth he didn't believe me it was written in his eyes.
One day morning we went to the social workers to seek for help as someone recommended, that is where we found a home that they placed use in. We found a parent who supposely had to take care of us. Staying in that house made me to know God for the whole family went to church and where commited so i joined them. i remember my first day i came out of the church it was like something was lifted off my shoulder, i guess i regained what i lost, my soul. I was reminded that someone loves me and cares. Although it was hard for me to deal with the trauma but i did at last. I even tryed killing my self again while in the church 3 times again but God didnt allow that to happen for he had plans with my life. Im living that plan now... its not yet fullfilled but i am going there for its my plan from God not someone elses. My Foster mom doent know what really went on for me to be here. If you get to know her you would know why.
We all have a journey and experiences.
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ReplyDeleteYou a such an ambassador for most young ladies out there for what you share is a eye opener to those who might be faced with this challange in their life so they may see they can make it and have peace in their life and give God a chance to restor them and show them His plan.
Keep it up dear God bless you more.
“We live and breathe words. .... It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them. Reading your words, what you write, how you were lonely sometimes and afraid, but always brave; the way you saw the world, its colors and textures and sounds, i felt the reality of it in a flash, continue being a friend with the words that tells the truth. God came up to give hope to lost ones through the struggle that you have in your words, be the book that people can be a friend to sincerely.
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